New book i am working on

[peeplesart]

So hello new community. Here are some page from a new book i am working on.

[ark]

i really loved this!! great action/story and very clear images, i.e. not so busy thats the focus is confused. but my favourite touch has to be the smoke comin out the robots eye in the last scene!!! lol

good work!!

[mistresslegato]

Could that be an ae-86 in the BG of the first page? That's my car <3

I love how you lead up to the action! It doesn't need words to get your point across.

[swordpunk]

This looks awesome. Like others have mentioned, the scenes definitely portray the flow of action very well and paces nicely. Nice work on the lines too

[comixink]

The first two pages are awesome, cars in perspective are most definitely difficult to pull off. The following pages after that get a little hard to read and very static. Play around with your camera angles a little. All of the panels in the last two pages are head on shots, it flattens the page out and slows down the pace of action. So vary your angles a little more, and you're gold my friend.

[seraph]

Nice and clean line work. Out of curiosity, did you transfer via Lightbox or use non-photoblue as a base and photo copy before scanning? Just curious as to how you kept it so clean.

To get it out there- I like the pages. But, I have a few suggestions/comments (not to worry, you'll get to tear apart my work by the end of the week).

Pg 1, Pn 4- While I like the idea behind the panel, I suggest adding some sense of movement. Blur lines on the background, for example. As if it were a camera focused on the car and the background isn't 100% in focus. As it sits, I feel like it seems the car is just parked on the ramp.

Pg 2, Pn1- It took me a second to fully understand this part of the flow. I think there should be a build up panel before the gate crashing. All we see of the car before this is it driving up a ramp, then BAM... gate crash. I found myself wondering where the gate came from.

Pg 2 Pn3- With a shot already focused on this character's lower face, why not go for an eye shot? Something to show extreme determination before taking the car for its last ride (*sad sigh*poor, poor, wonderful car). I think that might have a better impact.

Pg 3- I think the angles on this shot should be re configured. Pn 1, for instance, can be from slightly under the car and to the right, a little adjustment from where it is now.

(Now, mind you, this is just an idea, but I'm thinking cinematic these three panels. In a movie, you'd probably get a director to do a shot from under the car flying towards Mr. Roboto, a cut from outside the windshield looking into the car as she quickly grabs the Rocket launcher, then a shot of her bursting out of the side door, the car flying behind her in a shot from the side- her diving head on towards the audience.)

Pg 4 Pb 1- I feel like the car is suddenly halted in midair. It seems to have lost sense of movement. Maybe add something small, like the tires spinning? A slight blur on the rims, perhaps?

Also, while I can understand the look of concern on her face from jumping out of a car fifteen stories in the air, it doesn't seem to fit with her character throughout the rest of the pages. She seems sure of herself, one might say cocky in the final panel as she has her arms crossed.

I do have to say, I love the second panel on this page.

Pg 4 pn 3- A good conceptual shot, I feel that this really needs an angle change to be truly effective.

Now, I'm not trying to bash the work. I like the pages a lot, I think you have a nice style your working with, and I'm especially envious of how you managed to make the car look... MEAN. These are just some suggestions and (hopefully) constructive criticism.

Like I said, you'll get to neuter my stuff later this week. I'm finishing up a page tonight and will have it scanned by the weekend.

[peeplesart]

Thanks for all the good words guys. I really appreciate it. I will have some more pages soon to show you guys. As soon as i can get off my lazy ass and draw.

And seraph, no harm done man. i really appreciate the crits. i have not been doing this very long, a year and a half to be exact, so i welcome all the crits and help i can get.

to answer the question about the clean lines, i use blue line, then do a light pencil on top for detail before finishing the pages with darker lines. then i take the blue out in photoshop. so that way it is much cleaner.

you guys can check out more stuff on my deviant page. it has some older stuff there.

[e-mail]

[seraph]

Gotcha.

I usually use a non-photo base, then do roughs with a 2H lead, then finish with an HB or such. Since I haven't gotten my photoshop yet I just go the cheapway and photocopy and reduce the page, then scan.

[Archerion]

The only thing on the first panel of the first page the car seems to be twisted. Also on the 3rd page panel one, It be cool if there was some debris from the building it left just to help translate that its jumping out the building not flying.

[peeplesart]

Mar 18, 2009 17:26:20 GMT -5 seraph said:

Gotcha.

I usually use a non-photo base, then do roughs with a 2H lead, then finish with an HB or such. Since I haven't gotten my photoshop yet I just go the cheapway and photocopy and reduce the page, then scan.

yeah i use a 2h pencil for everything. i usually darken in photoshop.

you can try Gimp. its a free photo editing program. not as good as photoshop, but it does the job.